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Mending Relationships





The Beatitudes





My "Life Verse"




Quotes
Honoring the Covenant Relationship
between God, Pastor and Congregation


I promise to be imperfect.  I promise to try—knowing that I will inevitably fail; trusting in the grace of others to forgive and support me.  I believe that in trying good things will happen.

I promise to make my expectations of others clear and known; and to be a person of grace when a group or person fails to meet agreed upon expectations.


I promise to be intentional in my language—in person, on the phone, and online.


I promise to strive in all that I do to be trustworthy: open in my thinking and working, respectful of confidences, and not a holder of secrets and/or information.

I promise to listen with my eyes and ears, heart and mind—seeking to understand before seeking to be understood.


I promise to share my story, rather than only express my opinion.

I promise when working with and on committees and councils to begin my comments with a positive affirmation before offering any critiques or suggestions for change.

I promise to empower others to do the work of the church, and when appropriate to work in collaboration with staff and laity.

I will, to the best of my ability, respond to people in the present: letting go of past deeds or misdeeds, not reacting to real or imagined fears or hopes of what might happen in the future.


I promise to adhere to good boundaries—physical, emotional, spiritual and professional; and to teach others what this looks like and how it can be a commonly held mission.

I promise to honor the agreement in my Call Letter that I work 40-50 hour per week, no more than 3 nights a week.

I promise to take an adequate rest (at least 12 hours) between consecutive days of work, so that I am rested and prepared for the next day’s work.

I promise to pray, to study and to observe a Sabbath day each week.



And Other Reminders


Create in me a clean heart, O God,
and put a new and right spirit within me.
Do not cast me away from your presence,
and do not take your holy spirit from me. 
Restore to me the joy of your salvation,
and sustain in me a willing spirit. (Psalms 51:10-12)

  1. Go directly, confidentially
  2. Take two along with you
  3. Tell it to the church
  4. Divest emotionally.
  5. Where two or three are gathered, I am there among them. (Matthew 18:15-20)

Blessed are the... poor (in spirit)... those who mourn... the meek... those who hunger and thirst for right-relationships... merciful... pure in heart... peacemakers... those who revile you and persecute you.  You are salt; you are light.  Do not think that I have come to abolish the law or the prophets; I have come not to abolish but to fulfill. (Matthew 5:3-17)


So deeply do we care for you that we are determined to share with you not only the gospel of God but also our own selves, because you have become very dear to us. (1 Thessalonians 2:8)


“Awareness is a critical but not sufficient condition for growth. Awareness must be paired with behavioral change to be effective.”

“It is indeed not about ‘who is doing what to whom,’ but rather about ‘what is trying to happen…’”

from The Center for Right Relationship (found in other systems literature, too)

“It is the leader’s responsibility to manage [his/her] emotions and encourage others to manage their own emotions.”

“You may ask the other for behavior, not for feelings, collaboration or agreement on perceptions.”  

“The only way to change a human system it is to change the way people interact with each other.”

from NPB & Associates (found in other systems literature, too)